The Restored Podcast
We are living proof that God can and will restore any life, any marriage, any family that submits to His will. Join us as we share our testimony of how God can take a situation and restore it to His purpose.
The Restored Podcast
Finding Your True Self in Christ's Embrace
Frank and Darcie explore the emotional roller coaster of their son's high school graduation and the identity crisis that can come during major life transitions.
• Not every good opportunity is a God opportunity – Satan can present attractive options to draw us away from God's plan
• Life transitions can trigger questions about our identity and purpose
• Darcie shares her struggle with self-worth as her role as stay-at-home mom changes
• Biblical figures like Moses, Gideon, Jeremiah, and Peter all experienced moments where they forgot their identity
• Jesus and Paul maintained unshakeable identity despite challenges and temptations
• The "orphan spirit" makes us feel abandoned and seek external validation
• As believers, we are permanently adopted into God's family with full inheritance rights
If you have prayer requests or praise reports, find us on Facebook at the Restored Podcast or email us at therestoredcast@gmail.com. Your prayers will be taken before God and not shared publicly.
you were listening to the restored podcast with frank and darcy Montgomery. How are you today, Darcy?
Speaker 2:I'm good. How are you?
Speaker 1:Little emotional still. We have graduation for our only child tomorrow and it's the official mark of him moving from childhood into adulthood and completing his education journey, at least to this point primary education. And it's been a little emotional. I'm sure people listening are tired of hearing us talk about it.
Speaker 2:Well, good news that's our only kid, so you won't hear anymore.
Speaker 1:But the other day I had the privilege of spending the entire day with Hayden and I don't get that a whole lot, but we were able to spend the day at the golf tournament and I had a lot of one-on-one time with them and able to talk to them.
Speaker 1:And something happened that I would like to discuss before we really move into what we had planned to talk about, and that's the fact that young people and I think older people do it as well when they see a good opportunity, they feel obligated to jump on that and, as you know, hayden was planning to move to Arizona to go work sometime this summer, and that was a little hard on us the thought of him being two states away, with the only person remotely close that he knew or loved or cared for him any of that was your dad. But it's a good opportunity. It's at a place to where he could make a career out of this job, and so, in a way, we almost pushed it, encouraging Hayden because it was a good job. But after talking to him that day I realized he had a little hesitation and it got me to thinking every opportunity is not a God opportunity.
Speaker 2:Correct, and that's why we pray over things before we step into them.
Speaker 1:And I encouraged him to do that. I told him, I said, Hayden, you don't have to jump on any decision. I said, A, you're young, you have a lot of options in front of you. You don't have to jump on the first thing. And I said, most importantly, pray about it and really think about it and weigh all your options. But pray about it and wherever God wants you to be, you'll be happy and successful. And so now you'll be happy to know he's considering options a little closer to home with us. But I thought that that was a good thing for people to know, and me myself.
Speaker 1:At 44 years old, you know when a good opportunity comes along. It doesn't mean that we necessarily need to jump on that good opportunity because it's a good opportunity. The enemy can present you with good opportunities as well to draw you further away from God and further away from his will that he has for you. And so I just want to encourage anybody if you're facing making a career change, or maybe you're our son's age and you're starting your career path, or what you want to do starting a family, having children, whatever that choice might be, whatever good opportunity is presenting itself in front of you right now. Just remember that not every good opportunity is presenting itself in front of you right now. Just remember that not every good opportunity is a God opportunity, and pray about every move you make, even if it seems minor Right. Minor decisions and minor choices can lead to major consequences and major reactions that we don't necessarily want. So, with that being said, I figured you'd be a little more happier that Hayden's thinking of staying closer to home.
Speaker 2:I am excited about that and I think there's opportunities that I mean I want him to be where God wants him to be. If that's with us, great. If it's not, we'll handle those emotions that come with that.
Speaker 1:Over the past few weeks we've been doing all the senior activities. It's been even you mentioned earlier today. We have graduation tomorrow, but you're like, I'm just ready to get it over with.
Speaker 2:I feel drained. I mean honestly, it's something all the time and the excitement that's in me and I've been excited for a long time and it's physically making me exhausted.
Speaker 1:But it's more than excitement. It's a roller coaster of emotions, because we're excited that Hayden is completing high school, graduating. We're excited at the potential that he has for his future and what's ahead for him. But yet we're also sad because his childhood is over. What we've known for the past, past 18 years raising a child, forming that child's belief system, and everything that's coming to a close. He is 18 years old, his beliefs are formed right, his foundation is set and now it's time for him to build upon that foundation. And we have to trust God that everything moving forward is good. But during this emotional swing, you told me one day that you don't know who you are anymore.
Speaker 2:I did, and that was fear of change. That was I had, I don't know For whatever reason I had given the devil a foothold, he could make his own lunch.
Speaker 1:He could make his own dinner if he needed to. He didn't necessarily need you for those essentials. You were still a stay-at-home mom and he knew mom was there if he did need anything. But because of the world, the world's viewpoint and we've discussed this on a previous episode, how not every family, not every family, is able to have a stay at home mom, not bringing in that income, and we've made sacrifices to make that happen. But the world doesn't view that necessarily as a job. They view that as almost. You know beneath women.
Speaker 2:A luxury, and it's not a luxury.
Speaker 1:It's either a luxury that women who can't stay at home but want to can't do. They see it as a luxury. Other women they view it as a prison.
Speaker 1:But you've been a stay-at-home mom for 18 years and now we've been talking about me going back to work, you going back to work to really, you know, start up in our retirement savings and putting back as much as we can in between now and retirement age.
Speaker 1:Talking about going back to work. But you struggle because for the past 18 years you've been a stay-at-home mom and it led you to believe that that's all you were or that's all you are and that's who you are. Right, that is a big part of your calling on this earth is to be hayden's mom, and you took that calling to the full extent to where you dedicated everything to your family, making sure that the house was taken care of for your husband and your son. And now, when you start looking at job applications and responses and you don't have a whole lot of job history because, with the exception of working for our company and maybe one other job in that 18 years, two other jobs You've been a stay-at-home mom. So it kind of and where you were going from the way that the world tells you about being a stay-at-home mom and that's in the workplace that allowed Satan to come in. And at the crux of the matter is we all have an identity in Christ Right and Satan used this transition time to make me question mine.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and you're not the first person to struggle with this. You're not going to be the last person to struggle with it. It's very difficult, whenever we're being attacked on every side, to remain confident and to remain strong and rooted in who we are, in who Christ says we are, in who God says we are what the Word of God says we are as believers. The Word of God says that we are his sons, and that includes women as well, sons and daughters. Some more modern translations add sons and daughters, but that's you know, given that sons means everybody pretty much on the earth. But there's people in the Bible that have struggled with identity issues and not knowing who they are in Christ.
Speaker 2:Yeah, while I was studying for this episode because I knew this is what we were going to talk about I did a little studying and research and I came up with a few people actually that were heroes of the faith in some ways, that struggled with that at one point or another. Um, if you look in exodus, it's moses. He argued with god and he was insecure because he wasn't secure in his identity in christ. And I think at one point some translations have who am I? The exact same thing that I said I don't know who I am. Who am I?
Speaker 1:and and it's crazy what led him to not be confident in who he was was. I've heard different scholars say that he had a speech impediment. I've heard other people say that he just had a severe shyness and fear of speaking in front of others. And so Satan took that fear, that insecurity that he had about his speech, or fear that he had about his speech, and made him forget that he's God's servant.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:That was. That was BC, so it's before Christ and the atonement, but Moses was God's servant. It's before Christ and the atonement, but Moses was God's servant and Moses knew would later come to find out and know who he was. And I think whenever Moses died he wasn't quite so insecure. I think he had a better grip on who he was in Christ, because after that, I mean, god split the red sea and they walked on dry land.
Speaker 2:He delivered what some of us do. He said God, please send someone else. I mean I know sometimes in our callings if they're uncomfortable or they look scary, we'll be like God, please, anything else, anybody else, please don't send me to this, because we question and we let that slip into us that we aren't who God says we are. We doubt, we have insecurity and I have personally prayed that God would put somebody else in some of my callings.
Speaker 1:But God did give Moses somebody else, but Moses still had to be obedient was obedient, along with Aaron, his brother, but God did answer his prayer and gave him Aaron. But he still said you know, you are my servant and you are my mouthpiece, and I am going to free my people from Egypt through you.
Speaker 2:Right. Another example is Gideon. Gideon felt weak and he had doubt and you know he questioned God. He said you know, show me a sign to prove your power. And you know, if you don't know the authority that you have in God and you don't wield that power, satan will run all over you. And then there's Jeremiah, who God told him before I formed you in the womb I knew you Before you were born. I set you apart, I appointed you as a prophet to the nations, and he just basically said I'm too young. He used the age to disqualify him and we still do that today. I mean, as you were talking about earlier, my age has got me scared to go back on a job hunt.
Speaker 1:You know, there's one thing I listened to different preachers and one of the guys I listened to is Kenan Clark, and I watched a real not too long ago. I think you showed it to me, but I've seen it in his full sermon at times. But he's talking about Satan using that age and he said something along the lines of, yeah, satan says yeah, that'll do good, you know, you'll fit in great there in that ministry or whatever, but right now you're too young, right, and the next day he's still coming at you. You're too young. The next day you're too young. The next day you're too young. So on, so on. You're too young.
Speaker 1:And then one day you wake up and then all of a sudden you're too old. You're too old, the opportunity has passed you by. But what God is saying there is that I have formed you. I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. I've had time to think about, I've had time to plan, I've had time to know your purpose for your life on this earth, and it doesn't matter if you're 16, 26, or 46. Your calling is your calling. And if you know that, if you know your identity in Christ, and you're rooted in it.
Speaker 1:And you're rooted in it and nothing can shake that it doesn't matter your age.
Speaker 2:Right Peter walked with Jesus. Peter knew his place, yet he denied him three times. It doesn't matter your age, right Peter walked with Jesus. Peter knew his place, yet he denied him three times because he questioned or lost sight of his calling.
Speaker 1:Well, there was a lot going on during that time too. I mean in Peter's defense. Yes, he was one of Jesus's inner circle friends. He was one of the ones that was called away to pray, uh, with jesus, he, he walked on water with jesus. And again it just goes back to satan. He will use anything and everything to create confusion, and I'm sure there was a ton of confusion in Peter's life at that moment. His friend, the king of kings, the, our savior, was, you know, being arrested right there in front of G, in front of Peter, and was being carried away by the guards and Peter's, fearful of what's going on. They're doing this to Jesus, what are they going to do to me? And out of that fear, he forgot who he was. Out of that fear, he forgot that he was co-heirs with Christ.
Speaker 1:And we look at all those examples in the Bible of people who didn't know, or maybe they knew, but they had moments where they forgot who they were. Satan used external circumstances, satan used age, satan used, you know, deficiencies or fears. But there are a couple of examples and the first one, you know, is Jesus. He had a little bit of a you know, I would think, an advantage, but also we as humans. We struggle with the fact, and we have a hard time grasping, that when Jesus came to earth, he was fully man. Yes, he was fully God at the time too, but he was fully man.
Speaker 2:He felt everything we feel. He's been through everything we've been through. There's nothing that we experience, that he didn't.
Speaker 1:There's nothing that we experienced that he didn't Now. At the beginning of his ministry on earth, when he was baptized, God audibly spoke and said this is my son, whom I love. And Jesus knew right then who he was. And do you know what happened? Where Jesus went right after being baptized?
Speaker 2:Tell me.
Speaker 1:Right after that he was led into the wilderness by Satan to be tempted, and I have no doubt that. Well, I say I have no doubt, but you got to think that that little affirmation during Jesus's baptism, from his father in heaven, reaffirming who he is, gave him the strength to go through that temptation not eating or drinking for 40 days, then being tempted with food because he's hungry, or all these different things. And Jesus knew who he was. Jesus knew that he was the son of God, he knew who he was and he was firmly rooted. So he didn't fail in that temptation and ultimately, that's why we are able to worship him today is because he didn't fail. He became that sacrifice that we needed for our sins, and it's all because he knew who he was. And then you also look at Paul Before Paul, and I really think that Paul was firmly rooted in his identity on both sides of his life.
Speaker 1:Before the road to Damascus, before he was saved and found Christ, paul knew who he was. He was a prosecutor, he was a Jew of Jews is what Paul says. But whenever he was saved, whenever he had his road to Damascus moment and I say his road to Damascus moment, that was the road to Damascus moment, and I say his road to Damascus moment. That was the road to Damascus moment. He knew after that who he was. He had that encounter with God and he knew that encounter was real. And after that encounter that he had, he never questioned who he was in Christ.
Speaker 1:All throughout the New Testament, in his letters, he's always stating who he is. He's a bondservant of Christ, he's an apostle meant to preach the good news. And you know what? He knew who he was and he did what he was called to do and he didn't falter in that, not when faced with prison, not when faced with a shipwreck, not when faced with you know, capital punishment. Paul stood firm in his identity of who he was and what God had called him to do here on this earth.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he became a new creation and you know we are new creations when we come to Christ. And he held that. I mean Saul was dead and Paul was here and we need to remember that the old is gone and realized and knew who he was in Christ.
Speaker 1:from that moment forward, we too, as Christians, whenever we are saved, whenever we enter into that relationship with God and we do those things to grow closer to God, he'll begin to reveal his identity for us, our identity, and it's so important that our identity is rooted in him, and there's things that I mean. Satan's only goal on this earth is to keep us out of heaven, and if he can't keep us out of heaven, he's going to keep us from getting other people to go to heaven. To keep us from getting other people to go to heaven, ie keep us from reaching our full potential, from us stepping into our calling, into what God has called for us in our life. And one of the major attacks that Satan uses is a spirit of the orphan spirit.
Speaker 2:Right, and when you say that, let me try to explain that a little bit more. Um, that's not a term that I have heard until recently and when I did, it kind of clicked with me. I was like, oh, let me pray that off. Um, but it's a feeling of abandonment, rejection and lacking a sense of belonging, and usually it stems from childhood trauma, unresolved childhood trauma and instability.
Speaker 1:It's real simple. Satan wants you to think that you're walking this world alone.
Speaker 2:Right, and I mean it's a belief that one's identity is tied to external validation.
Speaker 1:Ie you being a stay-at-home mom, you were feeling that you weren't qualified to go work at a gas station because of I felt like I was only qualified to work at a gas station.
Speaker 2:I felt like I had to go back to where I was at 18.
Speaker 1:Right, and that I mean the, the orphan spirit. It wants to put you on an Island. It wants you to think that you are all by yourself. But God tells us that we are adopted. We are adopted into his family, we are his children. And let me tell you something about adoption. Adoption isn't something that just goes away. Adoption isn't just temporary. God isn't saying I'll be your foster dad until you're grown. I'll be your foster dad until you get the wind beneath your wings, so to speak. No, god says I have adopted you, I've given you my last name, I've given you access to my kingdoms. I've given you access to my riches, I've given you access to my authority. That's who we are in Christ.
Speaker 2:Right. Our identity I've heard it put this way is rooted in God's love and sonship.
Speaker 1:So never forget who you are in Christ. Never forget of what Christ did for you to give you that identity. Until next time. My name is Frank.
Speaker 2:I'm Darcy.
Speaker 1:And you've been listening to the Restored Podcast, as always. If you have any prayer requests or praise reports, find us on Facebook at the Restored Podcast, or you can email us at therestoredcast at gmailcom. We'd love to hear your praise reports or your prayer requests. Those prayers will be taken before God and not shared publicly. And also take the time to, like us on Apple Podcast, give a review. We'd love to hear from you and we'll see you next week on the Restored Podcast. Thank you.