The Road to Restoration

The journey of restoration begins with true repentance, a heartfelt recognition of our shortcomings and a commitment to change. By understanding grace, embracing forgiveness, and engaging in spiritual disciplines, we open the door to profound healing and transformation in our lives.

• The definition and significance of true repentance 
• The difference between grace and condemnation 
• The role of unforgiveness in hindering restoration 
• Practical steps for fostering forgiveness in relationships 
• The importance of committing to spiritual disciplines 
• The gradual nature of the restoration process 
• The power of prayer in personal transformation

Transcript

Road to Restoration Through Repentance

Speaker 1 0:19

Thank you to the Restored Podcast with Frank and Darcy Montgomery . So when we talk about restoration , we are talking about something being restored and that means that it's being brought back to its original condition . I think when God restores something , he brings it back to the condition that he originally created it for .

Speaker 2 0:54

Wow , I've never thought about it that way , but that's a good perspective .

Speaker 1 0:58

So I think we should name this episode the Road to Restoration , because we're going to talk about you know what that restoration looks like ?

Speaker 2 1:09

And what it needs to occur .

Speaker 1 1:12

And where it begins .

Speaker 2 1:16

Is repentance Honest , true repentance , true repentance .

Speaker 1 1:22

And maybe somebody's listening that is not a Christian or doesn't know what repentance is . And first of all I would say that we have , and this is gospel . This is the gospel . We have to admit that we are sinners in need of a Savior . We have to believe that we are sinners in need of a Savior . We have to believe that Jesus Christ is Lord , he is God in flesh and he died on the cross for our sins . He made that ultimate sacrifice for us and then we have to confess those sins and whenever we confess those sins , we ask for forgiveness and we repent of those sins . And to repent means that you turn your back on , you turn away from , but that is absolutely first in the restoration process .

Speaker 2 2:18

Absolutely .

Speaker 1 2:21

And so .

Speaker 2 2:32

And when we truly repent , that means to walk away from and change . I mean we have to make a conscious effort to change .

Speaker 1 2:36

Right . It doesn't mean that you're never going to do that again . Your desire should be that you never do that again , but chances are you're going to screw up , you're going to mess up . We live in a fallen world . We are flesh . Our flesh desires things that maybe aren't pleasing to God , but we have to continually be in that mindset of I don't want to do that . It's not . You know , for so long I struggled with pornography You're well aware of that and I would ask for forgiveness . And then I would find myself doing it again later that day , or the next day , or you know , and it just seemed like this evil cycle of I'm asking for forgiveness , but yet I keep doing it .

Speaker 2 3:34

And how did you get past that , and how did you finally repent , to where that's not an issue anymore ?

Speaker 1 3:41

Well , first of all , I had to recognize that , even though I was asking for forgiveness , I felt like I was beginning to abuse the grace of God , and Paul teaches us in his writings that grace abounds , but that doesn't mean that we keep sinning . That grace is there . I would feel condemned . You just don't lay there in that condemnation and say , oh , that's who I am , that's who I'm always going to be . That grace gives you the freedom to pick yourself back up .

Speaker 1 4:41

Yes , I messed up . God still loves me , god still sees me as righteous and whenever I ask for forgiveness , he forgives , he forgets about it and you move on . Our mind wants to stay in that . So when I realized truly what grace was and that just because I mess up doesn't mean that's who I am and that's who I'm always going to be pretty easy . But it also happened where I began filling my mind with other stuff . Whenever I had an alone time with my phone and my first instinct would be hey , let's go see what's new on this website . I would open up the Bible app , or I would turn on worship music , or I would pray . I would spend that . You know , whenever that temptation came , I would turn to God instead of turning in to that temptation , and that's what we have to do as Christians . We're called to be Christ-like , and in order to be Christ-like , you have to know Christ right .

Speaker 2 6:11

Exactly .

Speaker 1 6:12

So , in order to know Christ how do you get to know Christ ? You spend time with him , whenever . We were dating for that very brief period , but even after we were dating , to get to know each other , we spent time together . We spent learning each other , getting to know what you like , what you dislike , and so that's what you do with Christ . And the way you do that is by reading the word of God , reading the Bible . You want to know what God is like . Read the Bible . It's all there , from Genesis to Revelation . You want to spend time with him , pray with him , pray to him , talk to him , allow him pray with him . Pray to him , talk to him , allow him to talk to you , spend time in worship . And when you do those things , you know .

Speaker 1 7:15

The Bible tells us to renew our mind , and I don't know the exact study that was done , but there was a study done not too long ago that proves you can change the neural pathways in your brain , the way your brain reacts to things when you do things , and we look at those , maybe , as habits , saying that once you do something for 14 days in a row , it becomes a habit . Well , what you're doing by doing those things 14 days in a row is you are changing your neural pathways in your brain to where that becomes automatic for you . Your brain automatically says I'm going to read my Bible . Your brain automatically says when you get angry , I'm not going to react in rage . Your neural pathways say when you see me , I'm talking personal . Right here , when you see a woman walking down the road scantily clad . Right here , when you see a woman walking down the road scantily clad , instead of thinking impure thoughts , because you've changed those neural pathways in your brain , you don't think that anymore .

Speaker 1 8:36

And that's what it means to become Christ-like and that's what I really think repentance is about . We say repent and you're never going to do it again . Well , fact of the matter is you're going to do it again Now , hopefully , if you're repentant from something , what we would consider on earth to be horrible murder , horrible murder , ie . Hopefully . You know you don't do that again . But you know , oftentimes it's those little things . It's how you react in anger .

Speaker 2 9:17

I mean it could be as simple as an attitude or a mindset that needs to be fixed .

Speaker 1 9:21

And so I think , when people are praying for restoration and they are not seeing that restorative power of God take place in their lives , my first thought to them would be take a look at yourself .

Speaker 2 9:42

Do a heart check .

Speaker 1 9:43

What is in your life that is preventing you from growing closer to God ? What in your life is preventing you from being more Christ-alike ? And again , it might not be something major . It might be something as you know defiance , rebellion .

Speaker 2 10:08

Right and I have struggled with that and I had to repent from that and I had to , like you said , fill my mind and my heart with the word music and prayer . And when I did that , things started changing . And not only that , I got excited about those habits that you were talking about . Like I get excited to read the Bible every morning , and before it was a chore . So God changed that in me to help me draw closer to him , to fully repent and start my path to restoration .

Speaker 1 10:47

But even when it felt like a chore for you , you still did it .

Speaker 2 10:54

Yeah .

Speaker 1 10:56

And I mean that's what we're talking about renewing your mind on a daily basis , living in that repent , repentful state .

Speaker 2 11:09

A lifestyle of repentance .

Speaker 1 11:11

I was trying to say that , but you got the words that couldn't come to my mind . You live that lifestyle of repentance and understand that there will come a time when you make a mistake , but it doesn't mean you wanted to make that mistake , and so that is the first step to restoration .

Speaker 2 11:39

And that conviction and condemnation you talked about . It shouldn't be condemnation , it should just be conviction to help you fix that problem .

Speaker 1 11:47

Right , god will convict , the Holy Spirit will convict you . The Holy Spirit will never condemn you If you are feeling condemned , if you are feeling condemnation that is 1,000% from the enemy . Yes , god will never condemn you . And it goes back to what we were talking about earlier . It's that grace that when God convicts you , that grace to understand . He's convicting me of that because he doesn't like that , but he's not condemning me .

Speaker 2 12:21

Right and I just want to make sure that was understood that God does not bring condemnation , he brings conviction . The enemy brings condemnation .

Speaker 1 12:30

So you have to go through that repentance for restoration to even begin . And most of the time , you know , the first thing that's restored is our relationship with Christ through salvation . But other things might need to be restored because sin has destroyed them . And so it begins with that repentance and you trying to be more Christ-like . And I wanted to get into something that I think everybody struggles with , whether you believe it or not , and I think it goes hand in hand with repentance . So I grew up Every day with my parents , at nighttime we would read the Bible and we would pray before bedtime and my mom would pray her prayer .

Speaker 1 13:31

But before she prayed her prayer , us kids would say the Lord's Prayer . And we did that every day . And as I've gotten older and I've studied more , and you know , in Matthew 6 , where the Lord's Prayer is , jesus is saying and when you pray , pray like this . But I think it goes much deeper than him just telling us how to pray . I think there's more significance to it . And if you look in there , part of the prayer is forgive us our trespasses . We're asking God to forgive us of our sins . But right after that , as we forgive those who trespass against us , so as we are asking God to forgive us of our sins , we in turn have to be forgiving other people of what they've done to us , and when you don't do that , that unforgiveness in your life takes a hold of you .

Speaker 2 14:43

And it can destroy so much .

Speaker 1 14:46

It can destroy so much because it's like a cancer . If you have that unforgiveness in you , it'll spread . It'll spread to other parts of your life . It'll become anger inside of you . It'll become you know lust inside .

Speaker 1 15:02

Bitterness , resentment , you name it . That unforgiveness will morph and spread . It's like a cancer in your body . If it goes untreated . If it goes , you know you just ignoring , hey , there's something in your body that's not good for it it'll spread and it'll take over and it'll , you know , methodically go through and you know , take over different organs and just spread throughout your whole body . And that's the same thing that unforgiveness does . If you leave that unforgiveness there and do not treat it , it will spread , it will take over your body and it'll cause you to do things that you don't want to do . Like you said , it'll cause you to become bitter and angry .

Speaker 1 15:49

And when I think about unforgiveness , I think about my own life and how that unforgiveness for so long caused me to be an angry person . Long caused me to be an angry person . I had gone through life telling myself that I had forgiven my biological mom and her boyfriend at the time for things that happened whenever I was younger . But in reality I hadn't forgiven them at all . What I had done was push it down inside of me and try to block it from my remembrance . And I remember at times after I would blow up and things had calmed down and you and I were talking and you would bring that up and I would get mad again and say you can't do that . You can't bring that up because I have forgiven them , I've moved on , but in reality I hadn't .

Speaker 2 16:55

And I knew that .

Speaker 1 16:57

And so a lot of people think that unforgiveness means that you're going to be reconciled with that person , and I think deep down in my life , in my heart , that's what I thought it meant to forgive , and in no way did I want to be reconciled with my biological mom . I had a mom and dad who loved me , who chose me , who took me in , who raised me , who taught me right from wrong , and I felt like , if I forgave my biological mom , that I had to be reconciled to her . Don't get me wrong God is a God of reconciliation and if I am living Christ-like , as I should be , I feel like God's dealing with me right now , because I do feel like I am at a point to where I could be reconciled in that relationship . But unforgiveness doesn't mean that you're reconciled to a certain relationship , and I think that prevents people from forgiving somebody .

Speaker 2 18:19

And forgiveness

Forgiveness and Restoration in Daily Life

Speaker 2 18:20

. When you do forgive , you have to make that choice and intentionally , I am going to forgive this person and then pray blessings over them .

Speaker 1 18:28

Right . You're giving that hurt that they caused you . You're giving that hurt to God .

Speaker 2 18:36

Right .

Speaker 1 18:38

And so when you give that hurt to God , you are not going to dwell on it anymore , you are not going to think about it anymore . Now Satan will be in your ear quick . Remember what sister , so-and-so did to you . Remember what your mom's boyfriend did to you and how your mom reacted . I would hear that all the time . And so when you forgive , you're giving that to God and you're saying God , it's yours , I'm no longer going to be hurt by it , I'm no longer going to feel those feelings that I felt from that for all those years .

Speaker 1 19:22

And one of the ways , like you said , is to pray blessings over that person . If you are struggling to forgive somebody , simply start in your prayer life by praying for them , praying for blessings to come to them . Pray for their finances to be blessed . Pray for their health to be blessed . Pray for their health to be blessed . Pray for their marriage to be blessed . Pray for their job situation to be blessed . Pray for everything their family to be blessed . And you pray for them to be blessed the same way as you are praying for your own self , the same way that you pray . God bless my family . God bless my finances . God bless my finances . God bless my job , bless this , bless that . Pray for them the same way that you would pray for yourself . And if you were struggling with unforgiveness , after a little while of praying those honest prayers to God to bless that person , you'll stop holding on to that .

Speaker 2 20:25

And you actually get into living a lifestyle of forgiveness to where things do not offend you . You do not get hurt easily .

Speaker 1 20:34

Right . And I mean we're called to be Christ-like and if you look at the nature of Christ , at the nature of God , his nature is to forgive .

Speaker 2 20:43

And the Bible talks a lot about forgiveness all over the place . At the nature of Christ , at the nature of God , his nature is to forgive . And the Bible talks a lot about forgiveness all over the place and gives examples , One thing that comes to my mind .

Speaker 1 20:55

It's not biblical , but , you know , throughout our marriage you would reach out to different people to try and help me . And one of our former pastors became aware of our relationship and how it was and he began counseling me . And one of the things that he told me to do was to write a letter to my biological mom , Write a letter to her , Tell her all about how I feel , how I felt , all those things . And I didn't do that at the time . But later on , whenever I was going through the BIP class and the you know it , just it came back to my remembrance that Randall had told me to do that all those years ago , and so I did that . I wrote a letter in the office one night after BIP class to my biological mom . Now , I never sent it to her . She has no idea that that letter ever existed , but I wrote it . I got those emotions out of me and onto paper how I felt about her , how I felt about the whole situation . Now that letter is long gone . I burned it a few days later in the fire pit .

Speaker 1 22:20

But I would recommend , if somebody is struggling with something that they're holding on to , you know , write a letter to that person , you don't have to mail it to them , you don't have to give it to them . But what it does is it gets those emotions that you're feeling , it gets it out of your body . You've expressed those emotions , You've expressed those feelings , and then you know that's a practical thing that we can do here on Earth . But you give it to God and you say God , it's yours , I can't carry the weight of this hurt anymore . Only you can carry that hurt . So I'm giving it to you now and I'm not going to be hurt by it any longer .

Speaker 2 23:17

Yeah , I had my own unforgiveness that we struggled with when we got married .

Speaker 1 23:31

What do you mean ?

Speaker 2 23:32

You know the relationship with my dad and my stepmom . I held on to that . I did the same thing you did . I thought I had forgiven it . I blocked it , I pressed it down and mine came out differently . I was very withdrawn . I guess you would say I wouldn't let anybody get close . Walls were built up and through watching you and seeing you , seeing how you dealt with it and how you learned to forgive and reading the word and consciously making an effort , I was able to . Now I live in a lifestyle of forgiveness . I don't get offended anymore . I was easily offended and I don't live with that anymore .

Speaker 1 24:22

You still get offended . I mean , it's our natural instinct .

Speaker 2 24:27

Right , but it's not like it was .

Speaker 1 24:27

Not to get offended but you can handle it differently when that immediate reaction because , again , going back to our flesh , we are are flesh and our flesh wants to react certain ways . But you know , I've seen it , I've seen it in you and I'm sure if I took a better look at myself I would see it in myself at times I see it in you but I've seen it to where you know . That first immediate reaction I can see is Darcy was just offended by that person , but then within a few minutes a few minutes , your attitudes change , and what that is is that's the Holy Spirit coming in and reminding you .

Speaker 1 25:18

Hey , you are forgiven , Forgive .

Speaker 2 25:22

Right and , like I said , I try to constantly walk in that lifestyle of forgiveness , because before my cutoff game was strong , I would hold resentment . Yeah , it wasn't a healthy place . It wasn't a godly place to be place to be .

Speaker 1 25:53

I really , I really like where we're at right now in this podcast , and I think that this podcast may be a little shorter I don't know , I'm not sure about the length of time it is . It feels a little shorter , but I think we're at a good stopping point and just to go back over . In order for restoration to begin , it has to start with repentance , that repentance in our heart and in our life and that become a lifestyle of repentance and then , through that repentance , we are trying to be more Christ-like on a daily basis . And if you're doing those things , your behaviors will change . You know , you learn , and that's where it comes into . We have to do our part that's our part is to change our behaviors . God will help us if we're doing those things , those biblical chores , as you like to .

Speaker 2 26:53

I call them biblical disciplines , spiritual disciplines .

Speaker 1 26:57

If you're doing those spiritual disciplines , you are spending time in the Word of God , you are praying to God , and not just praying to God , but communicating with God , talking to God and allowing Him to talk to you , and you're worshiping . If you're doing those spiritual disciplines and we can get into more spiritual disciplines that there are , but if you are doing those three main ones , your mind will be renewed .

Speaker 2 27:25

Your life will change .

Speaker 1 27:27

Your life will change and restoration will take place . And again , it doesn't happen in the blink of an eye .

Speaker 2 27:40

No .

Speaker 1 27:40

You know , I think about somebody , an example that comes to mind , somebody that's wanting their finances to be restored . They pray , you know God , restore my finances . I'm tired of living paycheck to paycheck . I'm tired of not having this , I'm tired of not having that , I'm tired of not having that . God , restore my finances . And they're praying for that and they're not seeing anything . And they get a check in the mail that they weren't expecting . Maybe it's a refund on overpayment of auto insurance or you know some overpayment of taxes or something you know . And their first reaction when they get that check in the mail , I know my first reaction would be we can go out to eat tonight . We don't have to cook or clean the kitchen .

Speaker 2 28:34

Trust me , crazy , that that's your go to .

Speaker 1 28:36

But what you don't realize is , as we are taking our steps , doing our part in the restoration process by becoming more Christ-like , by doing those things , god is doing his part too . He is good and faithful . That was sent . You know , was God beginning the process ? But maybe we don't see it like that , because we are expecting God to do it immediately . And you know , you get that little check . Ok , I'm going to put that towards credit card debt or some other debt that I have . Or maybe you're all caught up on your bills and don't have credit card debt . I'm going to put that in savings , I'm going to invest it , I'm going to use it wisely , and when God sees you using it wisely , when you are a good steward of those finances , he will send more . Steward of those

Trusting God's Restoration Process

Speaker 1 29:47

finances , he will send more . But I think we have to open our eyes and realize that , hey , just because we don't see the big move , just because we don't see the full restoration , doesn't mean that God isn't working , doesn't mean that God isn't in the restoring process of your life . And so I just want to close with a prayer .

Speaker 1 30:06

Today I feel like closing with a prayer and so , dear God , thank you for this conversation that we've had today . Thank you for being such a loving and graceful God that you would forgive us of our sins , that you would send your son to die on the cross so that we can be saved . I pray that if people are struggling , that they would turn to you and that they would look to you for all the answers . They would look to your word . Father , help us to be more like you . We praise you and we thank you for your love , for your restoration , for everything that you give to us . In Jesus' name , I pray . Amen .

Speaker 1 30:52

Amen you were listening to the restored podcast with frank and darcy montgomery .